This week I am in my hometown, checking on my aging mother.  She has always been in rather good health, and at the age of 92, four months before her 93^rd birthday she had a mild stroke.  The stroke did not impair her physically, but it affected her memory and her eyesight.

Before this life altering event, this past year had me working on another living situation for her, because she lives alone.  AT her age, in my opinion, it would be better if she did not live alone.  She refused the idea and would not make the transition.  Unfortunately, she has reached a place where she does not have a choice and she now has to live with one of her children as a result of the stroke.  There is a saying, “once an adult, twice a child”.  It is said that someone is in their “second childhood” because of the way they act, often resisting being told what to do, where to go, what to wear, when to take medication, etc., etc.

My mother has not gotten to that place, yet, but now has to deal with being told where to live.  Rev. George Pryor said, “When we lose control of our emotions, studies show we revert back to our childhood emotions, habits, and unresolved anxieties.”  John 21:18 gives us a picture of the aging process, “…when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”

This leads me to the most important part of this writing concerning aging and that is honor. Though our parents are changing, we as their children and or caregivers need to learn patience.  Today I took my mother to the store, something that is not new for me.  However, this time she was moving very slowly, even with her cane.  This meant I had to walk slow with her and not get irritated with her for moving so slow.  I now need to be considerate and understanding about what she is going through.  It is all about losing her independence, and needing help to live, and losing control of her life. 

This is the time we need to honor our aging parents more than ever.  We honor them by continuing to respect them and by not treating them as non-humans without feelings.  Honoring aging parents can be difficult if you have never honored them in the past.  Learn to be considerate of their situation and take heed to what Proverbs 23:22 says, “Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”  I came across the following book title:  Doing the Right Thing- Taking Care of your Elderly Parents Even If They Did Not Take Care of You.  Wow, what a title and I am sure some of us fall into that category.  Exodus 20:12 makes it plain, “Honor your father and mother that you may live long in the land your God has given you.”  Just in case you need New Testament reference, Ephesians 6:3 “Honor your father and mother, which is the 1^st commandment with a promise.  That it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  (Check out Exodus 21:15,17)

Helping a parent through their 2^nd childhood is usually more difficult than the 1^st phase of life.  In the 1^st phase there is no point of reference for the child.  You teach them.  The 2^nd childhood requires acceptance of life’s changes, by the parent and the caregiver.  The only way not to experience the 2^nd childhood is to die young.  With that said, plant the best seed when caring for an aging parent (person), so that you may reap the best harvest. Whatever you sow, THAT will you also reap. Do the blessed thing!